Musing: Babes in Lala Land

Oh, the poor little “Food Babe.” Though she was decked with lei — despite being visibly pregnant — she just didn't feel the aloha when she came to Hawaii recently to preach her psuedo-scientific jibberish.

Instead, she believes she was the victim — why are these people always playing the victim, when they are serial victimizers? — of a massive “chemical industry conspiracy" to shut her down and deprive Islanders of her version of the non-truth.

Ashley and Vani: two genetically engineered (and they don't even know it!) peas in a pod.

Poor, poor little Vani. It never occurred to her that the opposition came not from the “chemical industry,” but regular old critical-thinking intelligent folks who are tired of her misinformed bullshit.

Worse, she dished it out at the University of Hawaii, giving it the veneer of “education.” And sponsor Ashley Lukens, director of the Hawaii Center for Food Safety, flat-out lied and claimed the event was endorsed by the chancellor's office, even though it was not.

In a lengthy whine-fest, the Babe — not to be confused with the equally confused Babes Against Biotech — took to her blog to cry a few tears about how people actually tried to, sniff, disrupt her presentation.

Because the antis, they never disrupt nothin', right?

Vani launches right in to her fictional account, portraying CFS as a champion of the people, instead of a lying, scheming, fear-mongering group desperately trying to keep the conflict alive in order to feed its own coffers, and claiming Hawaii is a “testing ground for many experimental chemicals and crops” with companies suing “to keep their testing secret.” And to "prove" it, she links to an article by Paul Koberstein — the guy I've repeatedly outed as being paid by the antis to write shit that ain't true.

Then she gets into how “over 100 Monsanto employees crashed a CFS presentation in Hawaii in an attempt to intimidate the presenters.” Uh, that was actually a presentation for the Molokai workers, and the "intimidation" — gasp — was them asking questions that Ashley couldn't answer. Because she doesn't actually know anything about the work these guys do. So she quickly ended the meeting and ran.

Then Vani whimpers about how as soon as her speaking engagement was annonced, CFS's Facebook page “began receiving hundreds of insulting and inflammatory comments – mainly criticizing me personally, characterizing me as “hilariously uninformed,” “a crazy food blogger.”

Imagine. Correctly identifying the Babe for what she is. Which leads to the real problem here: CFS, the Food Babe, Gary Hooser, the Babes, Hawaii SEED, etc., can dish it out, make any kine. But as soon as you dare to speak up or question, they draw the "you're so mean" and/or "victim of corporate shills" card.

Vani plays this up by featuring a quote from Ashley: 

“Vani’s visit to Hawai‘i would unleash the most powerful display of the pro-GMO public relations machine that I have witnessed since taking my position with CFS.”

Hey, I'm glad she noticed that there are a helluva lot of us who have no intention of letting Ashley and Vani dictate the future of biotech. 

But what Ashley doesn't get — perhaps because she is so handsomely paid — is that the response to Vani was organic, unpaid, truly grassroots. It was a bunch of people who are tired of hearing Vani try to pass off her snake oil sales pitch as “truth.” 

It can be her truth if she wants, but the rest of us aren't buying it.

Still, I understand why Ashley, accustomed to getting away with whatevahs, totally freaked out when she realized she might have to deal with more than her usual true believers packed into an echo chamber. She even hired a special security detail when she heard the oh-so-scary — NOT! — Bronson Kaahui and Jaysen Silverstein were planning to attend. 

Paranoid? Of course, the pro-GMO folks have never actually disrupted an anti-GMO event. That's the playbook of the antis. But paranoia runs deep when you believe in conspiracy theories — and are plotting all sorts of ugliness against your foes:

Guy Hanohano Naehu I'll be there and maybe something like this would work? It's a JEDI ear pulling tactic I learned while I was in Rapa Nui!

Like · Reply · 3 · September 14 at 8:48pm

Ashley Barbara Lukens perfect.

Like · 2 · September 14 at 9:13pm

And what was the horrible disruption that was planned? Turns out March Against Myths About Modification (MAMyths) had reserved a bunch of tickets using such obviously fake names as “Fraud Babe,” “Organic is Dumb,” “Susi Creamcheese,” and “Harriett Tubman.” 

But those clever antis caught on and foiled the devious plot. Glad Ashley's PhD has proven useful for something.

Vani sniffs:

MAMyths describes themselves as “Radicals for science utilizing grassroots organization and direct action for social change” and are basically satirizing the March Against Monsanto movement. They attend Marches in their “I Love GMOs” t-shirts and protest talks given by anti-GMO food activists such as Vandana Shiva.

Imagine. The nerve.

Vani goes on to drag Biology Fortified, the American Society of Plant Biologists, Kevin Folta and the Cornell Alliance for Science into her little rant. But she makes a special point of denouncing someone I've never heard of, Kavin Senapathy:

She spends a very significant amount of time criticizing me and the work of the Food Babe Army. She acts as the spokesperson for a Facebook page that was created solely to criticize and parody me all day long, every day, sometimes being severely offensive.

Awww. Poor ting you. Though come on. "Food Babe Army?" Gag.

Kavin is a busy girl! Spending so much of her time trying to discredit me and our movement. You’ve got to ask yourself, what motivates her to do this?

Uh, maybe the same thing that motivates the rest of us, and it ain't money. It's pure and utter disgust at the ignorance of the major players on the anti team, as well as their descipable, deceitful fear-mongering game plan.

Vani whimpers: "They want to gag activists into silence."

Oh, if only we could.

I know Vani loves to think she is so important that every chem company on earth has rallied against her, but in fact, anyone with a brain is laughing at her, because she's a bad joke.

The hypocrisy is staggering, though — basically she’s selling stuff, quackery by and large. And yet those who support biotech are a corporate front group! 

And truly, why shouldn't those of us who believe in biotechnology conduct media training and public outreach? Does the Food Babe really think only she and the rest of the antis are entitled to engage, and that anyone who questions them is an industry stooge?

I know the “victim of a massive conspiracy” narrative is wonderfully satisfying to the narcissists who dominate the “food army.” But it's just not anything close to real. Like the rest of the crap that the antis spout.

Vani ends her piece with an xo, and then a P.S., gushing about how “amazing” her Hawaii talk was, with “a packed house, and standing room only! It was a huge success.”

Uh, so then what's she bitching about? Especially since Ashley was going all groupie:

So much inspiration and grounding from this mana wahine. Haters are gonna hate. take it from me, this woman is a bad ass B. Total #musestatus

Mmm, Vani doesn't sound too bad ass to me. But the "B," yeah, I'll give her that.

Of course, the few pro-GMO people who did attend the Food Babe's talk later complained that they lost a few brain cells listening to her drivel.

But Vani obviously doesn't give a rat's ass about them.