Musings: Chicken Shit

When the tsunami surge arrived on Kauai’s North Shore last month, it washed out and salt-fried a lot of the vegetation that had been planted along the coast in Haena. But even that strong message from Mother Nature didn’t deter landowners, who quickly got to work recreating the thick plantings that give them privacy and some erosion protection — at the expense of the public’s beach.

Since everybody knows Pierce Brosnan, let’s use his house — which, secret-agent style, doubles as "The Cove," renting for $12,000 per week — as an example.

Pierce has seven acres of land, but still he felt compelled to begin claiming the public beach, as evidenced by this photo, which shows the chicken manure applied to the plantings in the sand fronting his lot back in 2007.

By 2009, his vegetation was thriving and already encroaching onto the beach, making it difficult to traverse.

Soon, thanks to regular fertilizing and watering, he had quite a lush hedge of naupaka to reinforce his message of Keep the Hell Out!

But the tsunami took a hit, and his vegetation ended up looking pretty scraggly, as you can see from these photos taken last week:

So Pierce’s gardeners got to work restaking their boss man's vegetative claim to the public beach by installing new coconut trees and other plantings.

To ensure the plantings thrived, they also added irrigation and applied copious quantities of chicken shit.

So now there’s shit on our white sand beach, and such a lovely smell wafting through the salt air.

For good measure, they tossed out some wood chips as mulch.

But don't worry. I’m sure none of this will wash out on the reef — so long as we don’t get any rain or another swell.

Main thing, Pierce is getting back the privacy he — and his high paying guests — require.

So next time you see him, be sure to say mahalo nui loa for being such a good steward of our island home, ya little chicken shit.

Photos by Caren Diamond