Musings: Fact and Fiction

In following up on Terry Lilley's claim that military jets were dumping chemicals on school children in Kapaa, I asked Capt. Bruce Hay, commander at PMRF, to shed some light on the aircraft that were seen and their activities. 

Capt. Hay replied:

The aircraft is a P-3C Orion based on Oahu at Marine Corps Base Hawaii (formerly known as Kaneohe Bay MCAS). It is attached to Patrol Wing 2. When they are over here they sometimes conduct instrument approach training at Lihue. We do not have all the modes that the P-3 is capable of using. The aircraft is old, and the engines smoke. There are many reasons they are rapidly being replaced by the Boeing P-8 Poseidon.

The stinger on the back of the aircraft is called a magnetic anomaly detector boom. It is solid with no fluid or exhaust capability. It is hard to tell from the photo but my guess is that the crew was doing multiple approaches. In the pattern, air traffic control directs their flight path and if they were indeed over Kapa'a, it was a sequencing spacer for either inbound or outbound traffic.

What, no “brown chemicals?” Not even any chem trails? No super secret mission to poison Kauai kids? Just boring instrument approach training in old, smokey planes?

Come on, Captain. You're not gonna attract an Instagram or Facebook following like the island's best self-promoting cranks with those dull explanations. Got to juice it up a bit, engage in some wild speculation and “creative” thinking — aka, fiction-writing.

I also asked Capt. Hay about Terry's contention that the military is testing microwave weapons on Kauai, and has some 14 microwave towers "as far as we know" from Kalalau to Anahola. Curiously, Terry claims that one is located at Lihue Airport:

These towers are in restricted air space so you cannot fly over them and take pics or count any new ones. We get the data about these towers from NASA because the towers effect air travel. They can cause an airplane to go down quite quickly.”

Gee. Wouldn't that would create kind of a conflict with all the public and private airplane and helicopter traffic at Lihue Airport?

Terry goes on to claim:

The microwaves are used by the military to dis able the electronics of a bomb, missile, all the way to a computer in China or a satellite in space. This is why the US military is producing so many microwaves in Kauai. We are the production island for world wide microwave war!

Wow. Ground zero for experimental pesticides and microwave war. It's amazing anyone is still left alive, much less happy and healthy, in this hellhole that attracts a million visitors annually. 

But if the microwaves can disable a bomb in China, why is PMRF bothering with that expensive “star wars” missile program? I mean, wouldn't the bombs be disabled by the microwaves before the missile has to be shot out of the sky? Probably best not to think too critically about such things.

According to Terry:

The problem is that the military did not test ahead of time the effects to the reefs, marine life, birds and people that are near the "death towers".

Mmm, so why does PMRF have some of the most abundant wildlife on Kauai, including 300 green sea turtle hatchlings this year?

Terry goes on (and on and on):

The military personnel are warned to stay over 2,800 feet away from the microwave towers while they are beaming and the war ships that are concentrating the microwaves.

Gosh, it must be tough to operate those big war ships and microwave towers from half a mile away. Do you suppose they're using aliens? Or maybe those folks who had their DNA altered by eating GMOs.

Anyway, I know it's hard to believe the actual base commander over a stellar, super-reliable source like Terry, but here's Capt. Hay's response, just for the hell of it:

We only have equipment at Makaha Ridge and Kokee. Anything else on island belongs to someone else. And, our equipment is only on when needed for training or a mission. Electricity is too expensive to leave it on all the time.  Most radars operate in a range that is considered microwaves as do cordless phones, cellphones and some wifi.  For that energy to do what Terry suggests, we'd have to assume transmissivity from air to water was happening and that the same energy could somehow make it through solid rock or bend towards the ground.  There is a reason your car radio stops working in a tunnel.

Oh, Captain. Why must you poke logical holes in a perfectly good fear-mongering strategy? You're no fun at all.

Terry Lilley showing his respect for marine life, which loves to be defaced and cuddled.

Meanwhile, in response to a reader's request, here is a link to Allan Parachini's critique of Christopher Pala's dangerously inaccurate article on Kauai seed fields — “Pesticides in Paradise” — published in The Guardian with still no corrections (or better yet, a full retraction) made. The Fund for Investigative Journalism, which funded Pala's trip to Hawaii, ostensibly for “research,” also has failed to respond to emails from Allan and me about the errors in Pala's piece. FIJ typically awards grants of $5,000, which is pretty good pay for a work of fiction.

And another reader sent me a link to an article about a Texas family that put its home up for sale after they were cited for barking dogs following a neighbor's complaints. It included the comment:

wonder if we could put up something similar to call out grumblers

It made me think of the letter from Sandra Makuaole of Waimea, who said she and her husband regularly hosed down their own dogs whenever they barked. And boy, that sure learned them. 

I mentioned this to a certified dog trainer, who raised her eyebrows and replied, “People are always saying how much they love their dogs and then they punish them all night and all day.”

The barking dog ordinance may have made some humans feel better, but in the end, it's always the dogs who suffer the most. Good riddance to that bad bill. 

Oh, and Council Chair Mel Rapozo, if you do decide to write a comprehensive noise ordinance, don't forget all those fighting roosters. Can't wait to see the public hearing on that one!