Friday, April 17, 2015

Musings: Prepare to Puke

A friend sent me a brochure for the Hanalei Golf & Beach Club with the message, “be ready to puke” and a subject line that read “Princeville, not Hanalei!”

Because while the super-exclusive Hanalei Golf & Beach Club capitalizes on the name and mystique of Hanalei, it is most decidedly Princeville in both flavor and locale. After describing how Princville's “verdant acreage was home to cattle and horse ranching, farming and plantation living,” the brochure proclaims:

But it was a century later that the north shore homestead found its true calling: that of an exclusive community.

Puking yet?

Don't worry, though. The master-plan for this 180-residence “exclusive community” will be:

[C]rafted by the guiding principles of Culture, Sustainability and Historic Hanalei. Our decisions are guided by an understanding of the ahupuaa, the ancient Hawaiian system of land stewardship. Our community will be a model of 21st century environmentally and socially responsible sustainable development. [Really? Check out yesterday's post on the Prince Course links.] Lastly, our traditions and spirit will embrace the essence of historic Hanalei and the true spirit of aloha.

No doubt it's the same “spirit of aloha” that John Hoff wants to export from his B&B on ag land, which, like the Hanalei Golf & Surf Club, is a far more lucrative use than boring old farming. As he exhorted in his letter to the editor yesterday: "Let us nurture aloha on ag lands!"

Gag.

But let's return to the the private Prince, a project by Discovery Land Company, The Resort Group and Reignwood International that promises us:

[T]he perfect balance between natural and built forms, activity and serenity, community and privacy – complemented by world-class luxury amenities including world-class championship golf, member clubhouse, beach club, wellness center, equestrian facilities, private airport, organic farm, community mauka trail system, and boat launch. Within this ideal place, relationships between people and the environmeant [sic] are cast in an intangible mold, honoring the influences of the past while creating a value for Members and generations to come.

Thank goodness they claim “a deep understanding” of the “project's competitive market environment” and “local culture.”

But then, if they did, would they have written this?

Surround yourself with over 8,500 acres of tropical landscape. Cradled by five majestic mountains, the Princeville ahupuaa [huh?] traverses down craggy slopes to the sea. Within this circle, the emerald green Hanalei Valley is a patchwork of historic taro farms, wild bird habitats, equestrian paths and hiking trails.

Yup, buy into this private Club and you not only get Princeville, but the entire Hanalei Valley and Bay, with all its surf breaks. The brochure goes on to promise:

The first of its kind. Where you will live in harmony with nature. Where you will create a family retreat for generations to come. Where you will care for the land with aloha, as an ‘ohana – family. And where you will return again and again to replenish the soul, naturally. A heaven on earth. An ancient ahupuaa of royal land from mountain to sea on the North Shore of Kauai. A playground for princes, then and now. And an opportunity for relaxed, country living – island style – that just a chosen few may call home.

Chosen few. Yup, that's really a reflection of local culture, 'ohana and aloha, all rolled into one.

Sadly, there's more. Get your barf bag ready:

Create your private retreat on royal lands. Enjoy the array of amenities befitting the new konohiki – stewards of the land. Share the mana – spirit – of this special place with future generations.

There you have it. The super rich are proclaiming themselves the new konohiki. Yeah, just go ahead and claim not only the island, but the culture and the mana.

And folks are protesting a telescope, while letting this crap slide? Is anyone going to take to Facebook with “I am Princeville” written on their bosom, biceps or palm? Because these guys are also laying claim to what they characterize as “sacred surfing spots” as well as other sacred sites, and even the ancestors:

Your presence at The Hanalei Club honors the contributions of many, many Hanalei ancestors.

The Hanalei Club, come celebrate the Hula. Pay tribute to Laka, the hula goddess. Visit her stone shrine at Lohiau Dance Pavillion along a path from Ke ‘e Beach State Park in Haena, where members of modern hula hulau (schools) leave tokens in her honor. Or enjoy the artful chants and legends that have preserved Hawaiian cultural traditions for centuries.

The map of the project gives folks a sense of how much vast territory their konohiki rights entail. Location bubbles are filled in with things like “surf Kalihiwai Point” and “Trail to Anini House Outdoor Pursuits” and “Anini Beach,” which they are clearly taking over with 20 new “Anini Beach Estates.” Some 30 “Mauka Ranches” will be built behind the Princeville Airport, soon to be privatized so folks don't have to endure the Kapaa traffic.

As the brochure states:

When you spot Hihimanu – Manta Ray, named for the graceful sea creature – you’ll know you’re home.

So act like you own the whole damn place.

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

What a shame that we have property rights in Amerika. Let's overturn the Constitution and Bill of Rights.
Outlaw private property.
This land is your land, this land is my land.

Anonymous said...

Think of all the jobs this new community will create! I guess they protesters would rather have locals working to support tourism and part time residents, instead of working at a state of the art science facility like TMT in Mauna Kea that desecrates their land. Awe! The dumbing down of Hawaii... #Idiocracyatitsbest

Anonymous said...

I did not know that Princeville was a Ahupuaa, learn somthing new every day. Just an excuse for the richie rich types to pretend that they own everything. Hopefully this too shall pass.

Anonymous said...

Whiz, bang. Right on, Joan.

Anonymous said...

Exporting aloha from ag lands...as long as it is sold to rich people from the mainland...rather than creating well-paying jobs with good benefits for locals on ag lands...

Gotta keep Mr. Conrad Jones happy, to hell with Mr. Kamakawiwo`ole...

Anonymous said...

This brings to mind an episode from South Park entitled, "Going Native."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_Native

Joan Conrow said...

I loved Luke Evslin's Facebook comment that #weareprinceville would make an epic "South Park" episode if it wasn't so fricking sad….

Anonymous said...

And they didn't even make the effort to use Hawaiian diacriticals in their place names.

Anonymous said...

So sickening!!! They want to keep their new development private and just for the elite few, but at the same time they use all the public resources and Hawaiian culture to sell it. Sick, sick, sick.

Anonymous said...

Elite? Yes.
But with the average house on the NS at over a million. With several large BaBillionares lurking and hundreds of your everyday Mamillionare owners masquerading or marauding as gentile new-agers, Kauai local housing is dead.
Kapaa at over 600,000 for a decent house. Yikes, if y'all make 150 grand per year, you'll have tough time getting a loan.
These high prices create orgasms with certain politicians. Higher tax receipts out of the blue.
Housing prices will continue to climb. Many more wealthy will come to the Pville extravaganza and Kauai..Chinese, Thai and Americans. There are enough "activities" IE yoga studios, Pilates and restaurants to create enough of a City/Urban Style that the Foreign Investor requires.
And our own JoAnn Yukimura and GAry Hooser have found a real trembling gushing Nirvana. A flock of new wealthy voters and not a housing development for the locals in sight.
Great Bags of Unpaid Hooser Taxes, Batman- Now that Gary and JoAnn have each made mamillions in real estate development via Ag CPRs etc, they put the Kabosh on any simple family achieving home ownership.
Welp, I guess I'll go schmoke a big fat doobie (soon to be available from Big Bad Tim Bynum's Bad Ass Buds, Bongs and Ricecooker Shoppe) and ponder...
“In the end
these things matter most:
How well did you love?
How fully did you live?
How deeply did you let go?”
― Gautama Buddha
Ouch, Great God, please help me to let go.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Such anti-social notions conjured up by prose dripping in phony noblesse oblige. This turgid piece is at least a 9 out of 10 on the kukae calibrator.

Anonymous said...

well well,yes thats a deep subject! coming from a half blood indian,may i sugest to the locals who are sooo good at "barfing",its over,its to late, u all may not like any direction that appears that ur land is being stolen,abused,or jus plain old desecrated!but this started over 100yrs ago. The deed and talk an auction of ur way of life on this paradisaic land has already gone thru more hands(banks)an it is already willed to those buyers family. We indian people had to tolerate invaders then be finagled out of our way of life and along with this,our land! I'm not sayin to give up the battle,jus try to educate ur kids so at least if they takes notes now, the history books will be correct,or believable down the road! As everyone knos there are so many stories on the demise of my people,but only one is correct! its about all u can do now,document now all u can for ur childrens childrens,at least ur history on how Hawaaians became exstinct will b truthful,and my heart does not soar like an eagle in joyful flight for Hawaaians,it bows low in great sadness! Stand tall for u once had it all! but greed and money have overtaken all island nations on earth,so u r not alone! Make the most of ur ohana now,today,its all we've got,so my brotherLIVE ,LOVE,LAUGH AT LEAST WE HAVE THE MOST HUMAN TRAITS TO PASS ON TO OUR OFFSPRING

Anonymous said...

This is why home prices are over the top and tax bills going through the roof. Same thing happening on the South side thanks to Kukuiula.

Anonymous said...

Its not too late. Thats why so many of us are fighting the giveaway of our neighborhoods to people who are only interested in how much money they can make or who package and sell aloha by the day. We must protect where we live, otherwise it's GAME OVER.

Dawson said...


The following quote made me puke so hard that I spewed food all the way back to the fried chicken I had last Tuesday:

"...Where you will live in harmony with nature. Where you will create a family retreat for generations to come. Where you will care for the land with aloha, as an ‘ohana – family. And where you will return again and again to replenish the soul, naturally. A heaven on earth. An ancient ahupuaa of royal land from mountain to sea on the North Shore of Kauai. A playground for princes, then and now. And an opportunity for relaxed, country living – island style – that just a chosen few may call home."

Neo-colonialist narcissism that hijacks a land, a culture and the heritage of a people as a masturbatory fantasy for the wealthy.

Anonymous said...

"Hawai'i itself is the female object of degraded and victimized sexual value. Our 'aina, or lands, are not any longer the source of food and shelter, but the source of money. Land is now called real estate; rather than our mother, Papa. The American relationship to land is that of exploiter to exploited. Beautiful areas, once sacred to my people, are now expensive resorts... The point, of course, is that everything in Hawai'i can be yours, that is, you the tourist, the non-native, the visitor. The place, the people, the culture, even our identity as a 'Native' people is for sale. Thus Hawai'i, like a lovely woman, is there for the taking... The State and counties will give tax breaks, build infrastructure, and have the governor personally welcome tourists to ensure they keep coming. Just as the pimp regulates prices and guards the commodity of the prostitute, so the State bargains with developers for access to Hawaiian land and culture...
Hawaiians, meanwhile, have little choice in all this. We can fill up the unemployment lines, enter the military, work in the tourist industry, or leave Hawai'i."-Haunani-Kay Trask.

Anonymous said...

Joan, although you disagree, this is the same thing (IN MY HUMBLE OPINION) that the biotech companies are doing on the westside. They are also the rich, like the ones in Princeville who are able to control and conquer with $!!

Joan Conrow said...

There are at least two key differences, IMHO. One, the westside companies are leasing land, not selling it. Two, they aren't blatantly co-opting the culture for marketing purposes.

Anonymous said...

This is not why home and rental tax bills are rocketing. It is because of the two edged sword of the mayors office hiring stupid and redundant county positions with no regard for salary and benefits, and a bloc on the council that punishes us by taxes because it serves their bizarre political beliefs. Think Yukimura , Hoosier, Chock, and the former chair.

Anonymous said...

The westsiders are using the zoning as intended. Just like Mahalepuu, and it drives the left wing loons nuts. Strange how the world changed.,

Anonymous said...

Joan- you are spot on about the "Hanalei Golf and Beach Club", but way off base with your continuing dissing of John Hoff. John and his wife are elderly, and they truly do exude aloha, and share that spirit with their guests. The fact that they are selling some nights of accommodation in their home does not warrant a comparison to these developer interlopers. May I humbly suggest that you back off on the homestay issue? That represents a respected, grass-roots, worldwide institution which, when located in agricultural areas, is termed "agro-tourismo".

Anonymous said...

The marketers of the project are selling it the way shit sells in dysfunctional Michael Coors lovin' 'Merica. This ad copy for this development is amateur and over the top but they are selling to a gullible nuveau riche and it will probably work. The "Princeville Ahupuaa" is classic. But aside from an ignorant marketing firm peddling a ridiculous image and it being upscale and private, why is this development any worse than any other?
You want to blame someone for development. Blame everyone who has had more than 2 children

Anonymous said...

John Hoff should be criticized for is exporting aloha letter. Let's see him give his aloha to the homeless people at Salt Pond.

Anonymous said...

Here's the truth. North shore community won't care because they love the idea that they too can be hawaiian just by buying the culture or learning how to pound poi. Just ask Dustin Barca who doesn't have a drop of hawaiian blood. That doesn't stop him from claiming to be Hawaiian. They love that they can claim something that they are not. They are phony and claiming it and the real Hawaiians rely on these phonies for jobs, money, friends, and drugs. If the advertisemevt uses enough hawaiian words and promises of environmentally friendliness then it's enough for everyone to feel good about it. The developers know and expect that this is an easy community. Come on north shore don't just roll over!

Anonymous said...

I think we are on the same page in that we both deeply love our Ahapua'a (Hanalei not Princeville) and want to protect its spirit and beauty forever. As a half native from Kauai, I plan to die here and while I agree with you Joan on several of your posts, particularly regarding GMOs/pesticides, I see this issue a bit differently and hope you will hear my thoughts. No question this development group got some things wrong, but by no means is this sickening. At the end of the day this “club” is just another name for a glorified homeowners association (which most of us are a part of already in one form or another) used to sell to this particular group of wealthy people. I don’t think there is anything wrong with people who are wealthy if they fall in love with our lands and learn to share the same pride and protection as we have. Many wealthy people donate to schools and put land in preservation- land that we and the county could never afford to protect. What made me uncomfortable was the Suntory/Mitsui and Morgan Stanley days, the money hungry public companies and too big to fail banks, that owned these 9,000 acres and planned for 2,750 units which is what “Princeville Phase II” was approved to have under the general plan. I feel we need to have a lot more Aloha for what this private group is TRYING to do. Kauai lands are worth more than ever and I don’t want to risk losing this low density group to the next big bank that could easily buy it out again and go back to the general plan. I say we focus our time on cultivating our Aloha so these privileged individuals or families that can afford to come to Kauai fall in love with the land as much as us then spend their money preserving it, building our schools for our Keiki, and supporting our local businesses. Unlike thousands of additional tourists every day on the roads on commercial flights in and out of Princeville again, I think a few hundred super wealthy people who come once or twice a year COULD bring us closer than ever to a sustainable future. Even if we convert just a couple of super wealthy people to our cause, think of how much we could do together, the lands we could afford to preserve …. They will pay for our GMO pesticide free organic foods at any cost, fund wellness even if it is for selfish reasons which will provide incredible jobs in health, and make certain causes viable that are otherwise too expensive. Perhaps I am too hopeful, but I see this as a unique opportunity.

Anonymous said...

Ahupua'a

Joan Conrow said...

8:58 -- My primary objection to the Prince project is not the wealth of its intended buyers, or even the exclusivity, but the marketing, which relies on cultural appropriation and a sense of entitlement that is incredibly offensive.

This marketing plan is all about remaining apart from the community — right down to its members-only parking stalls in Hanalei town — not coming in and making the island more sustainable or a better place.

Anonymous said...

Don't see any of your wishful thinking happening on the the South side., 8: 58. The owners at Kukui'ula are mainly interested in living in their multi million dollar digs, playing golf without riff raff in the way and enjoying meals at the club, where the only locals around are the people clearing the tables.
Dream on, brah.

Anonymous said...

@anonymous 8:58pm
What exactly is a "a half native from Kauai"? Based on your comments, I don't think you're from here because MOST people who grew up here or have somewhat of an appreciation for Kauai/Hawaiian culture would find the new Princeville marketing attempts ridiculous and offensive. They are not coming here to be stewards of the land. Anyone can see that.

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, Hawaii is trying to make Kauai a rich man's paradise. However, in order to create such a paradise you need local people to entertain and give the Kauaiian Experience & history, which is what people love about our island. If they want to make Princeville into the Hoal'iVille that it is they should make way for creating local housing at prices locals can afford & raise wages. As a homeowner (and married to a Hawaiian) we are few and that is the path Kauai is taking. It's frustrating to see a lack of solid infrastructure to include our beloved Natives who keep the history of the island alive. I, personally, drive right past Prvl to avoid the LA feel and take my purchasing power away from them as it is sickening to see our surf spots named and taken over while Prvl dumps shit into our bay w/out developing proper waste management systems. Think of all the homes at Aninni... empty except for certain times of the year. So many homes that entire families could live in, maintain and keep up..Jobs are not hard to come by here, longterm housing for the working man is the problem. But, the question I have is if you don't like it, what are you prepared to do about it?

Anonymous said...

To quote the late Peter Nakamura, "it's economic apartheid".

Anonymous said...

I tried to zoom in on the map in the brochure but it got blurry. Any clue where the member town parking is? and where the organic hydroponic farm is? i'm assuming the market they are referring to is the Saturday one? they do still have own that parcel that Namolokama Canoe Club sits on by the river. Hope that isn't going to become exclusive member parking as I had heard the original intent was to donate to county's black pot park expansion.