Musings: My Way

Nine years ago today I launched Kauai Eclectic.

It was intended primarily as a way to finally discover, in middle age, my own voice. As a journalist, I'd been trained not to have one. And as a woman, and a child growing up in an abusive, alcoholic family, I'd been discouraged from expressing one.

But what is a writer, a person, without a voice? So I was determined to at least try and let my own emerge through Kauai Eclectic, as well as highlight issues that I felt needed to be covered.

The result has been 2,200 posts, each one reflecting what I considered interesting, pertinent and/or musable, expressed in whatever fashion seemed most appropriate for the mood and topic.

It's a process that has cost me, from the very beginning. I lost work. I lost connections. Frequently, I lost my temper.

It's a process that has benefitted me, from the very beginning. I gained my voice. I developed as a person. I learned a lot. I forged new connections.

I've been excoriated, scolded, cursed, lectured, prayed for, gossiped about, slandered, deemed a shill, likened to Hitler. 

I've been lauded, supported, shared, liked, republished, cheered, likened to Joan of Arc. 

I've been praised as a truth-teller, denounced as a liar.

All along, I've just been me.

Over the years, many of my views have changed, and not just about biotechnology. I've experienced significant shifts in my belief system as a result of education, reflection and personal healing, and some of that transformation has found its way into Kauai Eclectic.

I never dreamed when I began this blog that it would spur such intense reflections, such profound personal changes, but I'm so happy that it has. As Socrates famously said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Or as Bashar, “a channeled, multi-dimensional being, a friend from the future” might put it:

Some people think I've sold out, gone crazy, joined the dark side. I just laugh, because it's my journey, so I know it best. I've never felt happier, more solid, more authentically myself. I've lost all fear of speaking up.

Thanks for reading, and for being part of the process. And that goes even for my critics, who serve the contrarian role of providing me with motivation. I'm privileged to be a voice for the community.

I'll leave you with Sinatra (though don't take it too literally, cause I ain't going anywhere), or my preference, Nina Simone:

Regrets, I've had a few;

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption.

For what is a man, what has he got?

If not himself, then he has naught.

To say the things he truly feels;

And not the words of one who kneels.

The record shows I took the blows -

And did it my way!

Yes, it was my way.